The Lord is teaching me so much in the change of life. I was going through Kelly Minter’s Bible study on Ruth. One of the first lessons was on change. I always felt I was one of those people who dealt pretty well with change. I like to mix things up and not keep everything the same, but recent events have challenged that statement. I am living in a place I came to know as my home. I first came to know the Lord when I lived here. This is the place I really grew up, found a beautiful church family, strong and amazing Christian friends. I have built this life and community and now I have to leave it all. It breaks my heart. I want to crawl into a hole and stop time. Ruth is helping me with this change. Ruth lost her husband, father-in-law, brother-in-law, and her sister left her. She is left with her bitter mother-in-law who is not too fond of her tagging along. She left everything familiar and comfortable to go to a foreign land. Even though it is darkness for Ruth, God has a beautiful plan of redemption for her. She cannot see this light; she can only see the darkness, but she trust the Lord. I want this same faith to trust the Lord in the midst of uncomfortable and unfamiliar times.
Bible Study
I hear so many times from Christians the difficulty of really delving into the Word of God and understanding the meaning. The reason the Bible is difficult for us is because of several reason. The culture is different from our American culture, we can become lost in translation or the true meaning of words, etc. The truth is that God communicates with us through His Word. He shows us how to live, what’s right and wrong, etc. A friend showed me a little Bible study by an amazing, Godly women named Kay Arthur. The name of this book is “Lord, teach me to study the Bible in 28 days.” I learned through this women how to really delve into the Word on my own and ways the Lord was speaking to me through His Word. After this study I wanted to know more. I craved His Word, the truths I was learning, and the way the Lord was communicating with me. I decided to do another study of hers through Joshua (which I will share next week).
The way Kay Arthur goes through the Bible is book-by-book. First, you read a passage of Scripture, then re-read and mark time references, locations, people, events, key words (repeated or significant words) with color pencils, next you list what you learn from some of these marking, and last you will apply these lessons to your life.
I will put the link at the end of this blog. Please consider going through this study if you have ever had difficulty with reading Scripture on your own. It will give you new revelations into the heart of God, a new way to Worship, and to really hold strong in this world. I do Bible study not as a legalistic practice, but a way to grow closer to the Lord.
http://store.precept.org/p-572-lord-teach-me-to-study-the-bible-in-28-days.aspx
Healthy Tip: Sometimes we think we are hungry when we are actually dehydrated. Next time you are hungry, but you just ate. Try drinking some water!
Dessert: Pumpkin Muffins
-1 can pumpkin
-1 box spice cake
-1/2 bag of cinnamon chips
Mix first two ingredients together and fold in chips. Place in muffin tins. Bake at 350 for 15-18 minutes. Enjoy!
Music: Jason Isbell- He is an amazing artist who I have been listening to for about four years. He has a new album out and it is phenomenal! I also heard him at the Ryman and it was one of my favorite concerts. Here is his music video below.
Covered
My professor told us in class that to become a good writer, you should write a little every day. This is a very lofty goal. I am not intending this, but hopefully I will be writing more frequently.
I think I am learning a lot about the Lord and myself lately. I confess that I was (and still struggle) with being a legalist Pharisee is some ways. I put rules on things that were not clearly laid out in Scripture. I called “sin” things that were not necessarily sin by themselves. The Lord tore me open and made me realize these ugly parts that I thought were good and made me righteous.
Thankful, I have a Savior who shows me these things, gives me grace, and gives me His Spirit for the strength to turn to Him.
He also showed me that I turn to other things, relationships, accomplishments, pride in self, etc. for comfort, strength, joy, etc. I have sorrow because I do not know where I can turn, but He reminds me that I should always be running in His arms first. He is the one who will bring me strength, love, mercy, grace, joy, comfort. His Spirit will guide, comfort, and bring wisdom. Why do I forget my first Love? How easily I turn.
Lord, thank you for grace!
Songs: Wedding Dress by Derek Webb
Forever Love by Francesca Battistelli
Book: Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller
Desire
My soul feels heavy
The tears drip
They fall slowly; I hear every splash
Light, but carrying weight
Falling on my anxiety
Falling on my selfish desire
Falling on my confusion
Releasing part of my soul
Releasing these desires to Your hands
I have nothing left
You are my desire
Naked Soul
I have a brand new Moleskin notebook. I am hoping this notebook will encourage me to journal and write. I am an introvert and sometimes I have trouble expressing myself and emotions. I will confess that I have always wanted to be creative. I think of myself of a fairly creative person, but I am not artistic. My sister received this gene. She is one of the best visual artists I know. I don’t like to draw or paint, I loathe (most) crafts (but love the look of them), I can’t dance or act (unless you count my crazy dance moves), and I don’t count music. I feel music speaks to my soul and speaks what I’m trying to express. However, it is not me personally expressing my life. This is where I finally landed on writing.
I recently watched Little Women (twice in the past two weeks) and am rereading the book. I love how it shows each of the women expressing their emotions and creativity in different ways. Meg is the fashionable one, Beth the musical one, Amy the visual artist, and Jo the writer. Jo stood out to me as the one who was a bookworm. She loved books and was absorbed into the plot, the setting, and the characters. I can relate. I love to read books. I love how I learn, how I can be absorbed into a story. I love when people pour their hearts and souls out into those pages. I digress. I decided since we had this common hobby that I should try writing.
I have decided to pour my heart and soul into my journal. I don’t want to hide, but show my naked soul with all its imperfections, quirks, and messiness. I’m ready to start this journey. To allow my heart, mind, body, and soul to leap off the page. It’s easy for me to skim over the imperfections and ugliness, but this is where I see the Beauty. It’s hard to write when you know the truth will come. Sometimes the truth is hard and not pretty, but the Truth will set us free. It’s when I show the ugliness and imperfections of life are when I see the Beauty of Christ. This is where I see the grace that Christ lavishes every day surrounding me like the cold, wet snow on a wintery night. It might sting and my comfort will be threatened. But, oh, the beauty that surrounds me on those snowy nights is something worth keeping my eyes on.
So here I go on the Naked Soul journey. I pray that I humbly write honestly to glorify Christ. I pray for a spirit of humility and learning through this journey.
*I have decided to start writing more consistently in my journal. I am going to put some of the entries in blog to keep me accountable.
Hope
“I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Yet it was kind of you to share my trouble. And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.”
-Philippians 4: 12-14, 19-20
Christ gives us hope. There is so much despair, loss, loneliness in the world and our own hearts. We feel empty and want to feel full again. So we our lives with junk hoping to feel that satisfaction. We fill ourselves with sugary chocolate and salty chips. Thinking the non-sustainable will fill us as we lick chocolate off our fingers. It makes us happy and full for a little bit, but again we feel the emptiness- even heavier this time. We knew the junk was a copout, but it looked to satisfy. We are desperate for food to fill us, our mouths are quenching for water. Not the physical substance, but the bread of life and the everlasting water. He has given us a right relationship with our Father, a reason to really live, and a hope in heaven where every tear will be wiped away. We taste and see. We taste and we live- really live. We taste and are satisfied. Even through the trials and circumstances we not only know who we are, but Whose we are. And to Him we pray- “to You be glory forever and ever.”
“O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.”
-Psalm 63:1
“Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!”
-Psalm 34:8
Park Bench
This is me trying to be creative.
She walks slowly in the fluffy white snow. Not hurrying, but purposely slowing down to relish every moment. She know she’s late, but he’ll still be there waiting. She rolls one hands in a ball, brings it to her mouth and wraps the other hand around it. Slowly she breathes into her hands, hoping to give them life. The hot air warms her frigid body. It seems lately that her body can’t stay warm. She brings her hands away from her mouth. Her eyes study those hands- worn, calloused, and wrinkled. Where did all those wrinkles come from? She knows she is in her fifties, but this caught her by surprise. Throwing her arms by her side she slowly moves on toward the pond.
She knows she’s here, she sees the spot and that man- her support, encourager, father of her children. He’s sitting on that bench with his dark hair that has grayed a bit, his glasses that fit him perfectly, and those dark eyes are staring at his worn and wrinkled hands. She stops at the edge of the pond and just stares at him with her piercing blue eyes. Suddenly the wind picks up and howls at the trees throwing her stick straight red hair in all sorts of directions. Momentarily blocking her vision of him, she flips her hair out of her eyes. Catching sight of him again, this time he is starring at her. He’s giving her one of his looks- those half smiles that belong only to him. She feels her face get hot and looks down at her feet. How after thirty years can this man still make her blush? She slowly makes her way around the icy pond. From her peripheral she sees that man still staring, watching her silhouette. Slowly she continues making her way around the icy pond.
She starts thinking how much this place and bench belongs to them- if people only knew. This is where she first held hands with this man (actually any man), where he ask for their two lives to join as one, this is where they brought their children, a place to come during trials and joys, a comfort when their children left the house to start their own lives, and every anniversary this was their bench. As she comes closer she looks down into those dark eyes. He pats the spot beside him. She smiles and slowly slides her way to the spot- barely touching him. She sits and he takes her worn, calloused, icy, wrinkled hand in his- intertwining their fingers as they have their lives. Warming each other on a simple bench in a park.
Fall
Do you know those things in life that make you crazy excited? The ones where you jump up and down from the excitement? This is fall for me- it’s my catnip. I can’t help myself around fall. I love the colors, decorations, leaves, trees, the smell of apples and pumpkins, leaves falling from trees, apple and pumpkin treats, pumpkin lattes, crisp apples, big plump pumpkins ready to be decorated, the cool fall weather, football, etc.
I am glad to say that I have checked most of these off my list multiple times. It has been joyous! So today take a walk in the cool fall weather, drink a pumpkin latte, eat a crisp apple, and enjoy fall while it’s here!
Transition
Transition is the word used for the stage of life I am in right now. I have recently graduated college. I have no plan of using my degree. I am working as a nanny at the moment. I am praying and researching about if I want to go to graduate school, jobs to help my career, what I should be doing in the future. I know that I will not be here (as in Richmond) for awhile. I consider it a “transition period.” Then it hits me that I am here in this place for a reason.
“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
-Romans 5:1
God has shown me that I am to embrace my placement in life at this moment. I should be full of joy and peace because of the gospel. There are direct commands from God that I can do at this moment. Many times I am tired, cranky, and not very servant-hearted when I arrive home from work. I think because I have worked I deserve a break. My pride is crawling up through my veins. I start thinking of how unfair my life is and why my life is this way. Then I start thinking about how God can use me in the future with career and life. Do you see the discrepancy? I am prideful, selfish, and cynical with those around me in my life. I am not joyful with my roommates, the people I disciple, the people at my church. I keep thinking about one day when God will be able to use me.
I am thankful and praise God for His grace and mercy in my life. His Son has come down to earth to take human form as fully human and fully God. He has paid the price of my sin and God’s wrath. He died on the cross taken God’s wrath and seated at God’s right hand. Now I have His righteousness because of His obedience to His father! This is something to be joyful and peaceful about daily. He has shown me my sins and helped me to turn away and turn towards Him. He has shown me that there are ways to serve Him right here and now. There are opportunities to serve and encourage His people (my roommates, church family, friends, overseas missionaries, etc.). There are opportunities to reach out to people, serve them, and share Him with them (internationals, college students, neighbors, etc.).
I am so thankful that I have been shown my sin, reminded of the gospel, and that there are reasons I am here right now in my life. There have been some other personal troubles, but I know that God is in control of my life! Thank you Heavenly Father for Jesus, the gospel, opportunities to serve you, and all the blessings in my life.
Simple Things
I was asking my roommate if I could eat the last chocolate-chip cookie of the batch she had baked for the apartment. She said that I could have the last cookie and it made my day. I realized that it is the simple things that can make someones day.
I, personally, struggle with cynicism. Not in a hopeless, despairing way, but where I border on the line of being realistic and being cynical. When I cross the line to cynicism, I realize that I am not having the hope and joy that God has given me in my life. So I try to appreciate the simple things in life. Here are a few of the simple things from today…
- Granola cereal and coffee in the morning.
- Reading a book outside in the beautiful weather.
- Yoga in the morning.
- Listening to Amos Lee on my way to the mall.
- Yogurt mountain and running with my sister.
- New discovery of google reader.
- Iced coffee and the Big East tournament
- Good conversations with family.
- God’s provision in my life, showing me my sin, and still showing me His grace and mercy.
I am also trying to put others before myself (a hard task for me) and do simple things for them. Thank you God for giving me the ultimate joy and peace in my life and helping me to serve others for Your glory!
Anna
p.s.- I like to find new music and share new music. One of my friends showed me this girl named Priscilla Ahn. She is amazing and this video is so good, enjoy!
Anna's Adventures 
